What exactly IS Patience?

While we were all at the dentist's office on Wednesday, the receptionist touched my arm and told me she just wanted to let me know she is SO impressed with our family and how well behaved the children are. She thought I must have SO much patience to be able to manage all of them in such an efficient manner. We've got her fooled, huh? It reminded me of something I had recently read from a fellow homeschool mom, who had a great explanation for what Patience is. I had never heard this before, but it is GOOD. Makes me want to wake up and practice patience a whole new way tomorrow. Hope it is a blessing to you too.

Patience is correcting (giving a consequence for) wrong behavior without becoming angry or resentful, every time it is necessary, no matter how inconvenient it is or how much you don’t feel like doing it.

I used to think that being patient was putting up with my children’s lack of obedience. I was thinking wrongly that they were just children, and couldn’t help themselves. I thought I was being patient if I asked them to do something over and over again without getting angry.

I would say, “Walk in the house, please.” Ten minutes later I’d say, “Walk in the house please.” Five minutes later, “Walk in the house please.” I would feel myself getting angrier and angrier as the days went on and still every day my children ran through the house. I would tell myself to “be patient.” I would think, “They’re just children.” “They’re just 2 yrs. Old” or “They are just 4 yrs. old,” etc. I would tell them in a sweet voice and remind them once again…”Walk in the house please.”

The problem was that I was confused about what “patience” was when it came to discipline. In truth, deciding ahead of time, with my husband, what the rules of our house were going to be (no running in the house for example), determining an appropriate consequence for the breaking of these rules, and then purposing to enforce the rule EACH and EVERY time was what was needed.

What is the godly principle for the rule “no running in the house?” you might ask? It is in loving others and in considering them more highly than ourselves. It is also honoring and obeying your parents in the Lord. It is in being wise. Running through the house is unwise. It is not the place for running, as children can get hurt as well as belongings getting broken. We need to be good stewards of what the Lord has blessed us with.

Where does patience come in? If I have to correct them 20 times a day for 20 days – that’s where patience and perseverance come in! When I have to walk away from making dinner for the third time to issue a correction (a training swat), when I have to get up from my conversation with my husband, when I have to get off the phone to correct my child, or put down a book I’m reading to correct my child (giving them a trainer swat)…this is where patience comes in! Instead of becoming angry that I have told them and corrected them 3 or 5 or 20 times already, it’s correcting them with love and understanding and PATIENCE.

Patience is not “putting up with” wrong behavior. Patience is correcting (giving a consequence for) wrong behavior without becoming angry or resentful, every time it is necessary, no matter how inconvenient it is or how much you don’t feel like doing it.

Long suffering is another way of saying “patience” and it is a good description of what patience is. It is being willing to suffer (be inconvenienced) for the benefit of your child, however…long…it is necessary, hence the word long suffering. When we suffer long to teach our children the importance of obedience, we are making an amazing investment into their lives. We are teaching them the true nature of God. That no matter how far we stray, no matter what we do, or how many times we do it…God will correct us also…because He loves us and He wants good for us. He will not allow us to prosper and continue in something that is to our detriment. He desires for his children to be mature and wise, just as we hope for our children to become adults that are mature and wise. I hope this helps other parents.

"My son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you." Proverbs 3:1-2

Thou shalt not say Doofus

We have been struggling a bit with unkind mouths in our household lately, so earlier in the week I posted some "convictions" and scripture on the kitchen wall to remind us all how God expects us to use our mouths.

Conviction #1: I must understand how my words impact others--for good or for evil.
Conviction #2: I must learn how to control my tongue so that my words bring life and blessing to others.
Conviction #3: My words are a reflection of the condition of my heart.
Conviction #4: The words I use show respect or disrespect for my parents and others.

Throughout the week if one of the kids has been unkind to another, I have directed him to the wall to read our convictions. This afternoon, I caught Katie in the kitchen shaking her finger at the wall in all of the three year old righteous indignation, "reading" from the list as she recited, "You should nevah, evah, call your sister a Doofus!".

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

A Father's Love

Some of you know that Katie (3) has a fetish for cutting hair. She has cut her own on three different occasions. The last time she was punished, because she was well aware that she was not allowed to play with scissors, and she snuck up to our bedroom to use the scissors from my desk up there.
Last week Katie decided to try her skills on Naomi. I was nursing the baby mid-afternoon, and Naomi came to my chair and babbled something at me. It took a couple repeats to get "Katie" and "hair" out of her stream of words. It was then that I noticed a hank of hair missing from the top of her head. There was some still attached in the rubber band holding her bangs back. By the time I recovered all of it, it was a pretty good handfull. Meanwhile, Katie was no where to be found.
When she finally surfaced, I asked her what happened to Naomi's hair. She hung her head, avoided eye contact, then her face brightened and she announced to me "Colton did it!" with a big smile on her face. Colton was asleep in the living room. Little Miss Katie not only received a spanking for cutting hair, but especially for lying. She was not a happy little girl, and seemed very remorseful.
When Daddy got home from work, he took Katie to the living room and talked to her about what happened. The first thing out of her mouth was, "Colton did it!". Here we go again! She and Daddy had a long talk about lying, how Jesus doesn't like it, etc., and of course she got another spanking. Ah , the lessons a 3 year old needs to learn (and relearn, and relearn...).
The damage to Naomi's hair really was minimal. She got a chunk at the top of her head, behind where we normally pull it back, so it barely shows. We did get her pictures taken the next day, just in case.
Aren't we blessed to have a Heavenly Father who forgives us time after time when we fall short of His expectations?


"...do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction." Proverbs 3:11